idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So much rum. So many feels.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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