I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
