no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
