Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i think i have two assholes
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
