The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
