sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
