Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
