Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
