By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
