well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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