he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
They took my balls.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
