thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
