Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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