dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
