Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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