I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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