my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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