I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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