Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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