I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
