jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
