Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
