i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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