My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
