I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
