I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
