I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
