Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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