ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
