Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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