And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
