I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize