she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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