So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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