I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
