i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
