one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
