having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
