if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
