his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
