Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
