Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I will be naked everywhere
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
