Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
