Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
