3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize