how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
