Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
