She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
pray to the hookup gods
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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