Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
