you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
