I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
