wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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