is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
