sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
