he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
