So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
