I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
