the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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